Understanding Domestic Violence

 

 

W H A T   I S   D O M E S T I C   V I O L E N C E   ?

 

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, domestic violence is a “pattern of coercive behaviors used to control an intimate partner.” Domestic violence includes not only physical violence, but also emotional, sexual and financial abuse. It occurs in every socio-economic, racial and religious group and across every age, gender and sexual orientation. Domestic violence affects not only those abused, but witnesses, family members, co-workers, friends and the community at large. Children who witness domestic violence are survivors too. Constant exposure to violence in the home and to abusive role models teaches children that violence is a normal way of life—placing them at risk of becoming society’s next generation of survivors and abusers.

 

Domestic violence is about power and control. The goal of the abuser is to dominate the survivor and have all of the authority in the relationship; the abuser may use violence in order to establish and maintain command and power. Perpetrators of domestic violence have usually learned abusive, manipulative methods and behaviors in their own life experiences that allow them to control others—perpetuating the cycle of abuse onto more individuals. An abuser may use a number of tactics to gain power in a relationship, including the following strategies: dominance, humiliation, isolation, threats, intimidation, denial and blame.

 

Individuals do not intentionally become involved in a relationship they know to be violent or abusive. Domestic violence usually has subtle beginnings. The courtship often begins with love, but turns to dominance, control and sometimes violence. Survivors may stay in an abusive situation for various reasons— fear; love; threats to harm the survivor, loved ones, or pets; threats of suicide; religious reasons; believing the abuser will change; self-blame; limited financial or housing options; low self-esteem; and/or embarrassment and shame. 

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W H Y   I T   M A T T E R S

 

Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another. It is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background. Violence against women is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, and thus is part of a systematic pattern of dominance and control. Domestic violence results in physical injury, psychological trauma, and sometimes death. The consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and truly last a lifetime.